Today I was asked: “What do you want?”
This is a question that all women would love to hear and yet, a lot of us would admittedly not be able to give a proper answer. Cue every joke about women never knowing what they want.
My relationship track record is not pretty. Briefly speaking, I almost committed myself to the man who incessantly put me down to boost his ego; then I relied on the man who bailed at the first real relationship hurdle to come our way, despite all the confidence he had instilled in me that he was going to be my ‘rock’; and then I totally fell for the man who admitted that he was hopelessly in love with me, only to have him promptly check out of the relationship because the notion of giving himself to someone scared him shitless.
Wonderful.
So, what do I want?
I want someone who is truly above these things. I’m not sure, but I think they call it a ‘real man’ (correct me if I am wrong). But I write this blog for everyone, so, all man bashing aside, here is what I – and perhaps you as well – would like to find someday:
I want someone who doesn’t bail when things get tough – the kind of person who is excited by the challenge of unfamiliar hurdles. Someone who truly understands the meaning of the proverbial ‘ride or die’. I want someone who acknowledges and respects my lifestyle and career choices. I want someone who has my back when I stumble or fail, because it will happen. At these times I will need someone who knows when to step up and take control, when to be the man and also when to let me take the lead – this is what walking side by side is about.
As ambitious as I am, I appreciate the same in my ‘somebody’. I want someone who is driven and motivated, whose own dreams will provide healthy competition for me to keep striving for success with every challenge. I want someone who keeps me on my toes so that we will never be bored with each other.
I want someone who is worth compromising my dreams for... but who would never ask me to do it. Only they would understand the value and depth of my dreams and aspirations.
I need someone who is dependable: someone who never breaks promises, because their reliability means that they never have to make a promise in the first place. In short, I want someone who does what they say they’re going to do.
Read the last sentence again.
I need someone who understands that at times, they will have to carry me, the same way that I will carry them when necessary. I want someone who looks after themselves mentally, emotionally and physically; the body is a temple – the way you treat yourself and your possessions is a huge indicator of how well you will treat me. If you don’t respect your mind and body, how can I expect you to respect mine?
And, as much as I want all of these things, I also want this person to be able to tell me ‘no’. I want someone who won’t always blindly give me what I want just because I want it – someone who will make me work for it as hard as I make them work for it. I want someone with principles, who isn’t afraid to call me out when I’m wrong, but who can do it in such a way that doesn’t undermine or belittle me. I want someone who doesn’t need to put me down or humiliate me in any capacity just because my strength makes them feel weak.
Do I place a tall and seemingly impossible order?
Hell yes.
Only because I know that I deserve it. Only because I know that I am worth it. And only because I know that by wanting this in someone, I myself have to be prepared to be this for someone as well…
People Subconciously adopt the behaviours that move them closest too their goals and achieve success the majority of the time. If the common goals we share as people are to have strong healthy children to ensure the survival species and also to survive ourselves in the most comfortable ways possible then the behaviours we adopt are ones that move us towards both of these goals, unfortunately these goals often conflict, so one must be sacrificed in order to indulge the other. Whatever you see people do is their way of their attaining the above objectives (Often stupidly both at the same time), even if they do not realise it........So every time you've been attracted to someone who seemingly offers you one thing and what you get within the relationship is the total opposite, you have simply fallen for the Deception they have employed in order to attract the opposite sex in a blind attempt at finding the "Best" parent for their child OR the best partner for them.
ReplyDeleteThe mask a woman wears is the visual suggestion of fertility, the mask a man wears is the suggestion of being an Alpha-male. both have achieved results using these tools and those tools are their greatest strength in attaining what they want.....but they are also their greatest weakness....as without them they fail to achieve what they want from the opposite sex.
This is why many men run screaming from the woman's bed when the beautiful woman they slept with has turned into a harridan overnight.......and why the Alpha-males that women choose, who look as though though they can offer security or adventure or both often frustrate them when they realise that the Car, money, job and looks that gave him his confidence are merely tools that have provided the exterior neccessary for him to attract women without requiring the hard work and self reflection needed to become a real man. Without women around to attract he would not have them........ this is the game.....and although we curse our ex's......we are attracted to the same signs.........and deceptions.......
AMEN!! Yes, your order may seem 'tall' but unfortunately you asking things that should be a ~natural~ part of being an adult and a grown ass man. It's sad that in today's day and age doing what you say your going to do is not a given but a hopeful wish. :S
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping your find someone worthy your fabulousness!!xoxox
People Subconciously adopt the behaviours that move them closest to their goals and achieve success the majority of the timeIf the common goals we share as people are to have strong healthy children to ensure the survival of the species and also to survive ourselves in the most comfortable ways possible then the behaviours we adopt are ones that move us towards both of these goals, unfortunately these goals often conflict, so one must be sacrificed in order to indulge the other. Whatever you see people do is their way of their attaining the above objectives (Often stupidly both at the same time), even if they do not realise it........So every time you've been attracted to someone who seemingly offers you one thing and what you get within the relationship is the total opposite, you have simply fallen for the Deception they have employed in order to attract the opposite sex in a blind attempt at finding the "Best" parent for their child OR the best partner for them.
ReplyDeleteThe mask a woman wears is the visual suggestion of fertility, the mask a man wears is the suggestion of being an Alpha-male. both have achieved results using these tools and those tools are their greatest strength in attaining what they want.....but they are also their greatest weakness....as without them they fail to achieve what they want from the opposite sex.
This is why many men run screaming from the woman's bed when the beautiful woman they slept with has turned into a harridan overnight.......and why the Alpha-males that women choose, who look as though though they can offer security or adventure or both often frustrate them when they realise that the Car, money, job and looks that gave him his confidence are merely tools that have provided the exterior neccessary for him to attract women without requiring the hard work and self reflection needed to become a real whole man.......................without women to attract he would not have them........ this is the game.....and although we curse our ex's......we are still hopelessly attracted to the same signs.........and deceptions.......