Secrets

My general belief is that as long as two people are on the same page, no matter which page in the book it may be (long-term commitment, friends with benefits, partners for life, etc.), then there will never be any issue big enough to put fatal cracks in what they've built. Being on the same page means that you want the same or very similar things out of Life. For example, if you would like to have children and your partner absolutely does not, then you are not on the same page and this is a potentially serious problem.

The same concept applies to secrets. Everybody has secrets or bits of information they would not necessarily divulge about themselves, especially to their partner. A good example of this is that a lot of people would never let their other half know how many sexual partners they've had in the past because this is an issue that tends to resurface in  later conflicts, especially if the number is high. During arguments, it's often natural to try and hit low blows to gain the upper hand - this topic is a hard low blow, especially if it is a past they are trying to forget... Nobody wants to be judged for past indiscretions, especially by someone they love. (My advice: Always Play Fair.)

Is it okay to keep secrets from your partner? 

There are two arguments to this. The first? I understand when it's necessary to keep a secret in order to protect someone's feelings. Some people may not find it relevant to let their boyfriend/girlfriend know that a significant ex tried contacting them recently (which is fine as long as the record is set straight with them and they know not to try and pose a threat to the relationship!) Furthermore, it's important to be true to yourself and remember that you stand alone as a whole in your own right before you stand with someone else as part of a bigger whole. In that respect, your partner (or anyone else for that matter) does not necessarily need to know everything about you, especially parts that you may not be comfortable with about yourself. As my partner and I have agreed:

If it happened before you came into my life and does not affect how we proceed as a couple, then it is irrelevant.

However... Also be aware that secrets have a way of coming back to haunt you. Especially the ones that you share with other people who could turn around and try to upset your current happiness. The only real secret is the one that nobody knows but you (not even your dog). 

First, you should decide how big a part of your life your current partner is going to be. Once you know that, then how much you should tell them about your life is going to correspond to it. The way I see it, I want the kind of relationship with my partner whereby anything anyone could say about me, to try and bring me down in his eyes, would be met with only one response: 

'You think I didn't know that already?' 

And vice versa. 

I want us to be so solid that the possibility of an external factor coming back to try and harm us - and given the type of society we live in where gossiping and backstabbing are common occurrences - is minimal to none. I don't ever want to reach a place where his phone ringing at midnight causes me concern, because he lets me know everything that is happening with him. He lets me know about the women in his life (past and present) and the role that they play and showers me with enough love, affection, time and attention to assure me that they should not even be on my radar. His behaviour towards me and towards others is consistent both in public and in private, and his character is one that I know well and can rely on through and through.  Because of how honest we have been with each other from Day One, the trust we have in one another is rock solid. Anything I can think of that may cause me to cringe from my past, he knows about. I know that no one can hurt us with supposed 'leaked information'. 

At least that's one relationship threat eliminated!

Honesty is easy at the beginning of a relationship. If a person cannot accept certain things about your past in the initial stages, then it's easy to tell them goodbye - clearly you aren't compatible. I also think that being honest with someone you are looking to be with helps you to be friends with them as well, which builds an even deeper connection to sustain the relationship in the long run. 

If you currently aren't friends with your partner, or if you regularly keep things from them - especially things you know could damage the bond - then I strongly suggest you re-evaluate where you think your relationship is going to end up.

It's true that honesty is the best policy. Especially if it sets the precedent for your relationship. I believe that once you have honesty, then trust and respect easily fall into place, providing a good foundation for Love to start growing as a result.